The Year of Forty

This is my year of forty. I never thought I’d see the day to be perfectly honest.
Nevertheless, here I am, the minutes counting down the hours until the big 4-0. How could this be? In my mind, I don’t feel a day over twenty nine. In fact, through my entire thirties, I turned 29 on every birthday.IMG_0817

On the outside, though, I can see the subtle effects of an aging body. Fine lines and creases have appeared on my forehead and just in the last few months I’ve started noticing grey hairs sprouting around my temple. It’s nearly impossible to lose five pounds, but I could easily gain it in a day. Too much pizza all of the sudden gives me epic heartburn and I’m pretty sure I have a case of mild arthritis in my hands. Perfect timing. BOOM! Old. Just like that.
The twenty-something me loved partying. She was on the go all the time, never tired, never worn out. She was fashionable and thin (even though she constantly complained about how fat she was). She got any job, any man, pretty much anything she wanted. But she chose the wrong things, lousy men and friends.   She wasn’t good at making good decisions.  She liked to live on the edge and defy authority.
When I approached thirty, I saw a need to change. I had come to a standstill and things weren’t so good in my life. It was a tough decision, but I quit my job, moved to a different state and shortly after met my current partner in crime. Throughout the last decade, we’ve added two children and a dog to our family.
Besides adding two beautiful, smart, healthy boys to my life by becoming a mom, another really cool thing that I did in my thirties was decide to go back to school. A college degree was something that I always felt ashamed of not achieving. I was tired of the dead end jobs and I wasn’t doing something career-wise that I loved. Or even liked, for that matter. So here I am, almost forty and a senior in college. I’m rocking it, though. Making the Dean’s list every semester. Soon I will be an Anthropologist/Archaeologist/Historian, and with that, hopefully a reliable and enjoyable career to spend the rest of my working years doing.
In the meantime, I am discovering my soon to be forty year old self. I am realizing how important my health and well being are. I discovered that I really am creative, even though I’ve told myself all these years that I’m not. This blog is an extension of that desire to be creative. I have an urgent longing to do, see, and experience as much as I can with the resources that I have available. I’m starting to realize that life really is short, and I’ve got lots to do yet.
I’ve decided that no matter how much it bothers me deep inside, that I’m going to really try to embrace turning forty. I need to make it a positive experience and not let it bring me down. I need to make the rest of my life a happy journey, because damn, I’ve reached half my life expectancy already.
I’m going to share tidbits of my life on this blog. Photographs, discoveries, art, food, interests, places, thoughts, ideas. Hopefully you’ll find it interesting, entertaining, enlightening and inspiring.

Signing out for now…..
Jessi

*photo by me

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One thought on “The Year of Forty

  1. 29 for-ever! that’s my club too! Beautifully written Wild Belle! May your Journey in your 40’s be the positive one you are trying to make it! Cheers!

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